托福獨(dú)立寫作范文解析
托福獨(dú)立寫作題目相對(duì)而言比較多，針對(duì)獨(dú)立寫作部分的備考我們要更多的總結(jié)規(guī)律，通過總結(jié)來節(jié)省備考時(shí)間。下面小編就和大家分享托福獨(dú)立寫作范文解析,希望能幫助到大家，來欣賞一下吧。
托福獨(dú)立寫作范文解析 如何寫好文章
Essay Topic
Which one is the most important for teacher of high school?
1. The ability to help students plan for their future;
2. The ability to find the students who need help most and help them;
3. Teach students how to learn outside the classroom.
就這道題來講，題型基本結(jié)構(gòu)的選擇有兩種：三項(xiàng)能力都重要，但是第一項(xiàng)最重要;或者，第一項(xiàng)是重要的，而第二項(xiàng)和第三項(xiàng)是不重要的。其他的文章結(jié)構(gòu)都是這兩種的變體。我們拿第二種結(jié)構(gòu)舉例：
總論點(diǎn)：規(guī)劃未來能力最重要(vs.發(fā)現(xiàn)需要幫助的同學(xué)&教會(huì)自學(xué))
主體段1：學(xué)生最需要規(guī)劃，而只有老師有能力提供
主體段2：發(fā)現(xiàn)需要幫助的能力不重要，因?yàn)閷W(xué)生自己會(huì)來找
主體段3：課外自學(xué)不重要，高中生沒有課外時(shí)間
The ability to help student with planning their future is definitely the most important capability for high school teachers.
To begin with, high school students are in desperate need for guidance about their future, and teachers are the only competent candidate to provide it. I know this from my personal experience. When I was in high school, a great portion of my classmates’ only goal is to reach for the minimum requirement for graduation, and to be able to get an offer from a middle-ranged college in the US, as all 15-year-old boys are profoundly addicted to either computer games or love affairs. Because of our immature mind, we had no idea regarding the choice of universities, or the selection of a future career path. What made matters worse is that our high school teachers provided us with virtually zero guidance concerning our college applications, not because they lack of the intention, but simply because they know nothing about it. Consequently, the vast majority of our parents had to hire an outside agency that specializes in the college application process which costs tons of money. Later we realized that this is an utter mistake, for what they did was simply giving us the timeline of the application process, translating our personal statements and recommendation letters from Chinese into English, and finally mailing out all our materials to the US. All of these simple tasks could be performed by ourselves, and these misfortunes surely could have been avoided if we had the luck to meet more competent teachers, with the ability to warn students and their parents about the black-hearted agencies and lay out lucid plans for students’ future.
The capability to find the students who need assistance most and help them, on the other hand, is not that imperative. The reason for this is quite simple, since high school students would come to teachers voluntarily if they are in serious trouble. In other words, many times students don’t want to be bothered by a teacher who treats them like a baby-sitter. As for the “help” part, I firmly hold the faith that all teachers are already equipped with the willingness to solve student’s problem gladly, using their prehistoric powers, no matter how difficult the situation can be. So the willingness to help students should be the minimum standard to be qualified as a teacher.
Similarly, the skill to teach students how to learn outside the classroom is completely unnecessary. For one, most high school students have no time outside their classrooms at all, as all their spare time is already occupied by cram school or by extracurricular activities. Even in the rare circumstance that some students may have free time, parents could always play the part of their instructor on how to self-study.
本篇文章在結(jié)構(gòu)的處理上，做到了清晰、簡(jiǎn)單。第一個(gè)主體段在證明第一項(xiàng)能力是非常必要的。第二、三主體段在分別證明第二、三項(xiàng)能力是不重要的。整個(gè)段落結(jié)構(gòu)很明確。這樣會(huì)更容易獲得高分。大家要注意避免結(jié)構(gòu)過于復(fù)雜和混亂。
如何豐富整篇文章的結(jié)構(gòu)?
大家經(jīng)常會(huì)有疑惑的問題就是：我的三個(gè)主體段全部都是講故事，好像手法太單一了，會(huì)不會(huì)被扣分?如何豐富?
答案是：有可能;以及，偶爾的使用純解釋型段落。
眾所周知，TOEFL寫作中展開手法有兩種，exemplification和explanation。例證顯然是二者中更簡(jiǎn)單的一個(gè)。因此，大部分同學(xué)都更傾向于使用例證。因?yàn)樗菀卓焖偕鲜?，并且大家可以通過舉例來展開具體化的細(xì)節(jié)，從而獲得高分。但注意，如果三個(gè)主體段全部是講故事展開，未免會(huì)有語言太差的嫌疑。因此，除了例證，我們文章中最好可以稍微涉及到一些說理部分。
舉例和說理分別的優(yōu)勢(shì)?
大家現(xiàn)在可以重新觀察一下范文三個(gè)主體段的展開手法。三個(gè)主體段一共444字。其中第一段259字，第二段116字，第三段69字。第一段的展開手法為例證(講故事)，第二、三段均為解釋。
大家明顯感受到例證的優(yōu)勢(shì)即為能夠更輕松的展開出有效并具體化的細(xì)節(jié)，或俗稱“好湊字”。解釋的好處為語言簡(jiǎn)練，表達(dá)效率高，文章的遞進(jìn)性、節(jié)奏會(huì)更緊湊。
舉例和說理分別的劣勢(shì)?
例證在TOEFL寫作中并無太明顯的劣勢(shì)。解釋的劣勢(shì)就比較明顯了。同樣的一個(gè)分論點(diǎn)，有的同學(xué)用例證可以很輕松寫到200字，而解釋只能說到100字。有的同學(xué)可能有個(gè)刻板印象：講故事的語言通常比較簡(jiǎn)單，句式單一，因此不容易得高分。注意，講故事語言和句式也是可以復(fù)雜的;或者大家可以選擇簡(jiǎn)單但地道的表達(dá)，可同樣可以獲得滿分。
答題戰(zhàn)略、以及舉例和說理的優(yōu)劣小結(jié)
因此我們以后考場(chǎng)上的答題戰(zhàn)略很簡(jiǎn)單。第一段為例證段落。目的為使勁湊字，盡量直接寫滿200字。第二、三段可以選擇簡(jiǎn)短的小故事或者解釋性段落，分別寫到60～100字左右。這樣主體段已經(jīng)達(dá)到至少320字，再加上開頭結(jié)尾段，可以輕松滿足350字的字?jǐn)?shù)要求。
如何練好說理?
說理對(duì)語言和句式的要求要明顯高于例證。因此一定要有扎實(shí)的基本功的支持才能夠?qū)懗銎恋恼f理段落。關(guān)于句式的練法，可以參考強(qiáng)化班上的句型基本構(gòu)成以及句型轉(zhuǎn)化練習(xí)。
如何練好例證?
例證的套路大家都很熟悉。很多同學(xué)的問題出在沒思路上。比如，一道題目問說：我們的閑錢應(yīng)該拿去旅游好，還是存到銀行好?有同學(xué)說，存起來更好，因?yàn)榭梢晕从昃I繆。這是一個(gè)很好的分論點(diǎn)，那么如何以例證的方式來展開呢?有同學(xué)說可以使用反證法：我有一個(gè)朋友Foosen，他就不存錢，后來他就死的很慘。用此例來強(qiáng)調(diào)存錢的必要性。大部分同學(xué)都能夠想到這一步，問題會(huì)處在如何用故事來展開死的很慘，以及什么事情導(dǎo)致Foosen死的很慘。我們來看一篇范文：
To begin with, as a young man living in a big city, I need to start saving up from now on, because there are a lot of things in the future costing tons of money. Take my good friend Foosen for example. He is an optimistic guy who prefers to seize the day. He can spend all his salary within just two days either on luxuries or on trips. Before he was even 22, he already went around the whole Africa. Unfortunately, not everything goes according to plan. Last year during his trip to South Africa, he accidentally broke his leg and had to go through surgery. However, since he could not cover the expense, he had to call everybody to borrow money. It took so long for him to collect the money that the surgery was delayed. As a result, the recovery period for him was 2 months longer than everyone else’s. Now, this example might be a particular instance, and it is out of his expectation. Nonetheless, in today’ssociety, even the potential spending within our expectation is already quite worrying. For instance, in Beijing, if I wish to purchase a 30-squaremeter apartment, it would cost me over 3 million yuan; if I want to invite, say, 20 friends to my wedding, I would have to pay over 200,000 yuan; not to mention if I have a child and want to support his education, it would cost at least 50,000 yuan per year just for him to go to kindergarten. It aches mejust to look at these horrifying numbers. If I don’t save up for my future, there would be no future. (275 words)
故事描述了主人公Foosen，由于是樂天派并且堅(jiān)持活在當(dāng)下，進(jìn)而展開月光、全世界各地旅游;到之后有一次意外摔斷腿，需要做手術(shù)，但沒有存錢，從而導(dǎo)致恢復(fù)期比普通人長(zhǎng)了兩個(gè)月。大部分的同學(xué)就是這些故事的“細(xì)節(jié)”想不到，或者沒思路。如何解決?很簡(jiǎn)單，就是多看。因?yàn)橹v故事并沒有一個(gè)明顯的模式或公式可以使用。
其實(shí)就是我們中學(xué)老師總說的那句話，“量的積累產(chǎn)生質(zhì)的飛躍。”大家想練好例證，只需要找到優(yōu)秀的講故事型范文，仿寫10篇左右，自然會(huì)掌握規(guī)律。
托福寫作：題庫范文附思路解析
1. Doing work: by hand or using machines? Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
『分析』分情況。有些事情適合用手做，比如：洗衣服：有些人就喜歡用手洗衣服(wash clothes)，而不用洗衣機(jī)(laundry machine)。寫字：不用電腦，而堅(jiān)持用筆，基本上只有50歲以上的人才干得出來。很多的事情只能手工去作(舉例);而另外也有很多事情只能用機(jī)器去做(舉例)。還有一些事情要二者結(jié)合才可以，比如統(tǒng)計(jì)工作。搜集數(shù)據(jù)(collect data)，往往更依賴人工(manual work);數(shù)據(jù)處理(data processing/manipulating)，最好由計(jì)算機(jī)完成。相關(guān)題目：[140]
『范文』 Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer to use machines. I definitely fall into the latter category. I use a machine for almost all of the work I do. The reasons why I prefer to use machines are that most hand work is tedious, machines are faster and more efficient, and I am more proficient with most machines. Two things that I spend a copious amount of time doing are writing and sewing. Both of these endeavors border on pain if I do not have a computer or a sewing machine, respectively. What was once a fun task becomes very monotonous, and no longer enjoyable. Using a machine can turn ordinary tasks into exciting ones. Using machines to do work is also much faster and more efficient than using your hands to do it. For example, if I wrote this essay by hand, rather than using the computer, it would probably take me at least five times as long. Hand sewing a shirt would take ten times longer than using a machine to do the same work. Not only are machines faster and more efficient, I am much more proficient using machines than I am doing the same work by hand. I find that when I am sewing by hand, all of my seams are very uneven and crooked. However, when I sew on a machine, my seams are perfect. The machine helps to keep my hand in line, therefore I can turn out a much better product. It is the same for writing essays. My handwriting is messy at times. If I had written a paper, I cannot correct it as easily as if I had written it on the computer. My writing blurs together, and sometimes I cannot even read what I have written down. Machines are definitely a better way for me to work efficiently, proficiently, and enjoyably. 102. Should schools ask students to evaluate their teachers? Schools should ask students to evaluate their teachers. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
2. 『分析』有保留地同意 (agree with reservations)。學(xué)生在評(píng)判教師時(shí)，是否全部學(xué)生都可以客觀評(píng)價(jià)(objective evaluation)?是否有足夠的能力(包括academic knowledge等等)去進(jìn)行客觀評(píng)價(jià)? 如果采取了這樣的方式，就會(huì)出現(xiàn)老師迎合(cater to/ pander to/ play up to students' taste)學(xué)生而不是引導(dǎo) (guide; lead)學(xué)生，違背了教育的原則。保留意見/這種方式：允許學(xué)生進(jìn)行評(píng)價(jià)，但是應(yīng)該作為一個(gè)參考，同時(shí)要有其他的評(píng)判方式。參見：[97]
『范文』 Teachers have a very difficult job in society. They not only have to learn how to teach material effectively, but also must learn how to deal with a wide variety of personalities. While teaching is a difficult job, I think it is important for schools to ask students to evaluate their teachers. I think this is the right thing to do because it encourages teachers to try their best, it gives students the opportunity to choose effective teachers, and it allows the schools to have the best teachers possible teaching. If a teacher knows that at the end of the term, the students will be evaluating his/her work, then the teacher will be driven to do a very good job. If there is no pressure from evaluation, a teacher might be prone to doing a less than perfect job. I believe that everyone needs an occasional evaluation to ensure they are doing their job correctly. In the case of a teacher, the students will give the most important evaluations. If there was a public summary of which teacher scored the highest on his/her evaluations, then students would be able to take courses based on which teacher was the best at the job. This would allow students to excel in their studies, and achieve better grades. Finally, if schools ask students to evaluate their teachers, the schools themselves would be able to have the best teachers working on campus. If a teacher scored too low on an evaluation, a replacement could be found. This is a much better method than waiting for students to complain about a teacher. Teachers do have a difficult job, but regardless of this, they must excel at it. If a person is a particularly poor teacher, the students will not learn the required material, and suffer for it.
3. The most important characteristic that a person can have to be successful in life In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer. When you write your answer, you are not limited to the examples listed in the question. 參見：[15]、[27]
『范文』 To be successful in life, one should have the characteristic of independence, that is, he/she has the ability to think critically. By critical thinking, one is capable of analyzing insightfully, concentrating on the right target, thereby making a wise decision. Thinking critically can enable one to analyze problems insightfully. We live in a world where controversial issues are often simply taken for granted. For example, most people are reluctant to think carefully about issues like whether boys and girls should take separate classes. Recently a high school in Beijing announced that their students from then on take separate classes. Many parents support such ridiculous decision without careful consideration. They are poor thinkers. Critical thinking is but to ask some simple yet essential questions, which always brings amazing sometimes appalling outcomes. Is such a scheme capable of eliminating underage sexual behaviors among adolescents? Is such a scheme guarantee boys and girls free of negative effects? Sadly, the decision had been made but the question left unanswered. Thinking critically can help one concentrate on right targets. We all have only and exactly 24 hours a day, but we often have mountainous work to do in hands, along with which many personal affairs seem equally urgent. Concentrating on right targets is probably the only way to overcome such dilemmas. For example, ETS has recently announced that GRE examination will be transformed back to paper based test. Grumbles are all around, and complains are posted almost on every BBS on the Internet. But if students think critically, however, they will find out the simple fact that even if ETS had made an awkward decision, test preparers should concentrate on the right target—preparing test as prudently as possible, and at the same time, grumbling never helps. Only by thinking critically can one make decisions wise and prudent. Sound decision making is essential to success. Decisions such as which movie theater we should go tonight are simple enough to make by tossing a coin, but decisions such as which university or which major we should choose are complicated enough so that we need careful comparisons. A comparison sheet will help a lot, simply by listing several relevant questions such as "Am I really interested in this major?" or "Are there more opportunities in the city where the university locates?" By analyzing insightfully and concentrating on the right targets, wise decisions are not hard to reach at all.
4. Artists' contribution or scientists' contribution, which is more valuable? It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society? Give specific reasons to support your answer.
『分析』不要急于選擇;一定要進(jìn)行比較陳述科學(xué)家做出的貢獻(xiàn)陳述藝術(shù)家做出的貢獻(xiàn)在不同的時(shí)期(比如戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)時(shí)期vs和平時(shí)期)，二者做出的貢獻(xiàn)不同。參見：范文
『范文』 Art and science are essentially a strange coupling. Yet more often than not, they are considered as divergent rather than consistent with each other. The artist employs image and metaphor; the scientist uses number and equation. By casual juxtaposition, these two fields seem to have little in common: there are few, if any, references to art in any standard textbook of science; art historians rarely interpret an artist's work in light of the conceptual framework of science. Despite what appear to be irreconcilable differences, however, they do have at least one thing in common—both of them have significant contribution to the society, but through probably distinctive way. The development of science and technology has always accompanied the progress of the society. The invention of the steam engine brought a new era of thrift of world economy; the employment of electricity has multiplied the productivity and virtually reproduced limited resources on the Earth; the innovation of computer technologies has made the Earth a little village and connected distant countries as a single market. While sometimes the progress of science and technology, such as that of human cloning, cause troubles or originate dilemmas, it seems always undeniable that in a broad sense, the development of science has provided people a much higher standard of living than that of their counterparts in any phrase of the history. Visualization and fascination have been the major power of any form of art. For example, any' religion in this world cannot exist without music, which helps realize the faith of the church to an astonishing extent. Each and every revolution on this earth was accompanied by numerous corresponding art productions, because the artists sense the circumstances, and then reflect their sensations with sophisticated techniques in their production, which can be easily perceived by the public through powerful empathy. Nobody could evaluate art as correct or not standard, needless to say the public, they simply feel it is good or not, therefore art has always had magic influence on the public and society in general. However, it's been said that there is no science without fancy and no art without facts. Science fictions have long been functioning as a major vehicle for the public dissemination of science; scientists share parallel view of space, time and light, etc. with artists. Not only are art and science interrelated with each other but they also contribute to each other in various way. Therefore, it is hard to compare the contributions of art and science, it is simply partial to say that either one contributes more to the society than another does.
5. Living in university housing or in an apartment in the community? Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference.
『分析』一定要進(jìn)行比較。住在宿舍的優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)：便宜(不用付或者付很少的租金;很少的交通費(fèi)用);方便;但是可能不自由自己租房子住的優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)：自由;安靜;干凈;但是費(fèi)用高 (也許合租的話，就會(huì)便宜很多)。根據(jù)自己的情況進(jìn)行選擇
『范文』 Being a new student at a university is an excitement. Choosing where to live, whether on campus in a dormitory, or off campus in an apartment, is in fact quite a big decision. Both of these options have their relative benefits. Living in a dormitory has many advantages over living off campus. For example, one has the opportunity to meet dozens of new students. One is usually placed in a room with a roommate, who can help with homework, and give much needed support during difficult times. Another advantage of living in a dormitory is not having to cook food. Most students coming to a university have lived their whole lives with their parents, and inexpert at preparing food, for they were not in charge of the cooking in home. Many students who first learn to cook their own food while going to school eat a very unhealthy diet. On top of this, many students are so preoccupied with their studies that they do not have time to cook a nutritious meal. Therefore, the fact that the dormitories include a cafeteria is very beneficial. However, living off campus has its advantages as well. In most situations, one has much more freedom to do what they want in these living conditions. For instance, one can stay up late studying or come home late without disturbing a roommate. Also, one is not limited to the cafeteria food if he/she is a particular eater. Living by oneself also has its benefits. One never has to deal with rude or messy roommates. Overall, I think that both of these options are good choices. However, I recommend that first or second year students live in a dormitory, and perhaps wait until they are older and more accustomed to university life before venturing out on their own. This way, one gets the best of both worlds: the camaraderie of living with many people and the independence of living by oneself.
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托福獨(dú)立寫作范文解析
