GRE寫作如何恰當(dāng)運用長難句
很多GRE中國考生非常喜歡寫長難句,在他們眼里,把一句簡單的話說復(fù)雜了這才叫有水平,其實這是錯誤的想法,下面小編就和大家分享GRE寫作如何恰當(dāng)運用長難句,來欣賞一下吧。
GRE寫作如何恰當(dāng)運用長難句
GRE寫作請勿濫用長難句
舉例:Recent years, this problem has appeared in the cities of China, the tendency of which is more and more serious.
上面的這句話在中國考生看來,是既親切又熟悉吧。但是這種啰嗦的運用從句是非常不可取的,這句話完全可以用一個句子說明白:This is a recent and growing problem in cities in China.
考生要注意,在GRE寫作考試中,考試目的是為了考察考生是否具有和他人進行學(xué)術(shù)交流的語言能力。如果你不能這樣和別人交流溝通,那么,即便是你的句子寫的再長,也不會拿高分。
GRE寫作如何做到高效表達?
究竟要如何做到convey meaning effectively呢?其實很簡單,就是用最簡潔的語言把意思表達清楚。但是,這絕對不是完全不用長難句的意思,究竟什么時候該使用長句呢?當(dāng)我們用簡單的話不能把意思表達清楚,反復(fù)地使用短句反而是啰嗦的,這樣不以利于交流。此時,我們就要使用從句,來把分成幾個句子表達的意思用一個句子說清楚,從而達到簡潔的要求。
所以,考生不要認為寫長越難的句子會為作文加分,因為這不是重點,如果想要提高自己的GRE作文成績,要清楚的表達自己的作文主旨,這樣才能讓評卷人看懂也不覺得厭煩。
GRE寫作滿分范文
Hospital?statistics?regarding?people?who?go?to?the?emergency?room?after?roller-skating?accidents?indicate?the?need?for?more?protective?equipment.??Within?this?group?of?people,?75?percent?of?those?who?had?accidents?in?streets?or?parking?lots?were?not?wearing?any?protective?clothing?(helmets,?knee?pads,?etc.)?or?any?light-reflecting?material?(clip-on?lights,?glow-in-the-dark?wrist?pads,?etc.).??Clearly,?these?statistics?indicate?that?by?investing?in?high-quality?protective?gear?and?reflective?equipment,?roller?skaters?will?greatly?reduce?their?risk?of?being?severely?injured?in?an?accident.??
Although?the?argument?stated?above?discusses?the?importance?of?safety?equipment?as?significant?part?of?avoiding?injury,?the?statistics?quoted?are?vague?and?inconclusive.??Simply?because?75?percent?of?the?people?involved?in?roller-skating?accidents?are?not?wearing?the?stated?equipment?does?not?automatically?implicate?the?lack?of?equipment?as?the?cause?of?injury.??The?term?"accidents"?may?imply?a?great?variety?of?injuries.??The?types?of?injuries?one?could?incur?by?not?wearing?the?types?of?equipment?stated?above?are?minor?head?injuries;?skin?abrasions?or?possibly?bone?fracture?of?a?select?few?areas?such?as?knees,?elbows,?hands,?etc.?(which?are?in?fact?most?vulnerable?to?this?sport);?and/or?injuries?due?to?practising?the?sport?during?low?light?times?of?the?day.??During?any?physically?demanding?activity?or?sport?people?are?subjected?to?a?wide?variety?of?injuries?which?cannot?be?avoided?with?protective?clothing?or light-reflective?materials.??These?injuries?include?inner?trauma?(e.g.,?heart-attack);?exhaustion;?strained?muscles,?ligaments,?or?tendons;?etc.??Perhaps?the?numbers?and?percentages?of?people?injured?during?roller-skating,?even?without?protective?equipment,?would?decrease?greatly?if?people?participating?in?the?sport?had?proper?training,?good?physical?health,?warm-up?properly?before?beginning?(stretching),?as?well?as?take?other?measures?to?prevent?possible?injury,?such?as?common-sense,?by?refraining?from?performing?the?activity?after?proper?lighting?has?ceased?and?knowing?your?personal?limitations?as?an?individual?and?athlete.??The?statistics?used?in?the?above?reasoning?are?lacking?in?proper?direction?considering?their?assertions?and?therefore?must?be?further?examined?and?modified?so?that?proper?conclusions?can?be?reached.??
Commentary??
This?adequate?response?targets?the?argument's?vague?and?inconclusive?"statistics."??The?essay?identifies?and?critiques?the?illogical?reasoning?that?results?from?the?misguided?use?of?the?argument's?statistics:??
--?that?non-use?of?equipment?may?be?"automatically"?assumed?to?be?the????cause?of?injury?
--?that?"accidents"?may?refer?to?minor?injuries?
--?that?injuries?may?result?from?other?causes?--?skating?in?the?dark,????failure?to?train?or?warm-up?properly,?failure?to?recognize?one's????physical?limitations??
The?writer?competently?grasps?the?weaknesses?of?the?argument.??The?ideas?are?clear?and?connected,?but?the?response?lacks?transitional?phrases.??Development,?too,?is?only?adequate.??
Control?of?language?is?better?than?adequate.??The?writer?achieves?both?control?and?clarity?and?ably?conforms?to?the?conventions?of?written?English.??Overall,?though,?this?4?response?lacks?the?more?thorough?development?that?would?warrant?a?score?of?5.
GRE寫作滿分范文
"The?best?ideas?arise?from?a?passionate?interest?in?commonplace?things."?
The?thought?of?a?passion? ?
In?reading?such?a?passage?as?the?one?given?to?me?as?an?assignment?I?can't?help?but?think?of?an?analogy?that?entered?my?mind.??It?is?my?enduring?interest?in?the?field?of?multimedia.??I?say?this?because?of?the?ideas?in?which?I?cultivate?as?an?artist?of?many?media?materials?such?as?paints,?film,?computer?animated?software,?etc.??Being?an?expressionist?I?take?in?my?surroundings?and?personal?experiences?from?commonplaces?and?things?and?tell?a?story?from?my?perspective?using?the?various?tools?whether?it?be?computer?aided?or?hand?drawn.??My?ideas?come?from?people?or?things?because?it?tells?a?story.??The?story?can?be?abstract,?little,?big,?or?even?strange.??To?record?stories?like?these?may?spark?ideas?that?may?come?to?me?in?a?domino?effect.??It's?beautiful]?I?shared?this?with?you?to?conclude?that?sometimes?even?common?things?such?as?a?pencil?and?an?empty?page?can?spelllout?your?fate?and?unlimited?possibilities?when?you?have?a?passion?or?an?interest?that?drives?your?hunger?for?innovation.? ??
COMMENTARY?
This?essay?is?seriously?flawed?in?its?analysis?of?the?issue.??The?writer?attempts?to?address?the?topic?by?focusing?on?his?or?her?interest?in?"multimedia"?art.??Yet,?while?isolated?words?and?phrases?from?the?topic?appear?throughout?the?essay,?the?essay?never?clearly?states?a?position?on?the?issue.??For?example,?in?a?discussion?of?multimedia?art,?the?writer?makes?the?following?observation:?"Being?an?expressionist?I?take?in?my?surroundings?and?personal?experiences?from?commonplaces?and?things?and?tell?a?story?from?my?perspective?using?the?various?tools?whether?it?be?computer?aided?or?hand?drawn."??The?essay?circles?around?the?issue,?without?ever?really?engaging?it.?
The?essay?is?also?marked?by?serious?flaws?in?language?use:?inaccurate?word?choice?("and?tell?a?story?from?my?perspective?using?the?various?tools?whether?it?be?computer?aided?or?hand?drawn."),?unclear?pronoun?reference?("My?ideas?come?from?people?or?things?because?it?tells?a?story"),?and,?in?general,?a?debilitating?lack?of?clarity?and?precision.??These?errors?frequently?interfere?with?meaning,?a?characteristic?of?many?essays?scored?2.?
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GRE寫作如何恰當(dāng)運用長難句




