實(shí)例解析如何讓托福寫作言之有物
托福寫作提升不僅需要掌握一些寫作的套路，更需要通過實(shí)際的例子去做提升。下面小編就和大家分享托福寫作提升，希望能幫助到大家，來欣賞一下吧。
托福寫作提升丨實(shí)例解析如何讓寫作言之有物
一.托福寫作實(shí)例解析
題目：Nowadays， food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer。(如今食物變得越來越容易準(zhǔn)備。這種變化是不是改善了人們的生活?)
解析：該問題中提供給考生探討的要點(diǎn)是食物準(zhǔn)備方式的改變是否提高生活質(zhì)量。對此問題，一些考生馬上就聯(lián)想到：食物容易準(zhǔn)備節(jié)約了時間，并就此給出段落中心詞。但結(jié)合文章論點(diǎn)稍微深入思考一步就會發(fā)現(xiàn)，時間縮短這一項(xiàng)改變雖然是事實(shí)，但對于生活質(zhì)量的影響并不直接，如果作為主要論點(diǎn)給出的話會使讀者覺得該支持理由與主題觀點(diǎn)并沒有直接關(guān)聯(lián)。所以對于這種容易想出但與文章中心關(guān)系并不密切的拓展思路就需要能及時舍棄。
二.托福寫作提升方法——如何言之有物
1.寫作思路剖析
就上面這道題目而言，有的考生注意到了食物準(zhǔn)備時間縮短與生活質(zhì)量改善之間的思路跳躍，因此在兩者中間補(bǔ)充說明，食物準(zhǔn)備時間縮短能讓人性情改變，從而影響人們的生活質(zhì)量，構(gòu)思時覺得該立意比較新穎，又能切合主題，繼續(xù)寫下去不無可能。但真正落筆時卻不知道該如何說明人們性情轉(zhuǎn)變這一抽象情況，并且自己平常生活中對此也并無較深入的感受和經(jīng)驗(yàn)，結(jié)果說了一句話拓展就不得不匆匆收尾，導(dǎo)致讀者要不就讀得“意猶未盡”，要不就干脆覺得“云里霧里”。與其這樣，還不如選個常見思路，如：快速的生活節(jié)奏造成壓力，來展開拓展，這樣即能展示語言功底，也能顯示思維縝密的寫作方向。
2.寫作具體展開方法
這其實(shí)是托福寫作整個構(gòu)思階段的重頭。要立意，就是要明白自己表達(dá)的對象是什么，明確立場。然后站在這個立場上，挑選支持自己的論點(diǎn)。在整理行文思路時，考生所進(jìn)行的其實(shí)是個發(fā)散思維的過程，而立意，則是要把思維收回來，組織化，理清它的脈絡(luò)紋路，讓它們有著各自的特征，又能協(xié)調(diào)地為同一目的服務(wù)。
托福寫作輔導(dǎo)提到能夠說服讀者的議論文，在論點(diǎn)選擇上應(yīng)該遵循一個原則：三個(或者兩個)論點(diǎn)雖說要符合一條明線：支持全文觀點(diǎn)，但不能在各自的論述層面上有交叉。比如在上題所給的理由中已經(jīng)列出：快速的生活節(jié)奏造成壓力，有的考生繼續(xù)拓展第二支持理由：人們正在沉淪于速食中，喪失享受生活的品位，這兩點(diǎn)看上去都與主題相關(guān)，并且有各自的中心點(diǎn)，但是稍微拓展就會發(fā)現(xiàn)，其實(shí)兩者都是圍繞人們的心理健康這一基本點(diǎn)所進(jìn)行的思維擴(kuò)展，與其分開兩段來寫，還不如先給出影響心理健康這一中心，再分原因和不同情況進(jìn)行擴(kuò)展論述。這樣即體現(xiàn)了同一段落內(nèi)部論述的全面性，又避免出現(xiàn)兩段中內(nèi)容及語言的重復(fù)表達(dá)。
我們通過對一道寫作題目具體分析為大家講解了托福寫作提升的方法。托福寫作想要提升必須要言之有物，想要言之有物，必須要寫出實(shí)際的內(nèi)容來，但是這些都要在貼合主題的前提之下進(jìn)行。大家在托福寫作練習(xí)中可以根據(jù)上文中提供步驟去剖析題目，展開思路，然后寫出具體的文章。
托福寫作模板：老師很難既受歡迎又有效教學(xué)
題目：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
It is difficult for teachers to be both popular (well-liked) and effective in helping students to learn.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
范文1：Argument 1 (for)
It is very difficult for a popular teacher to really help the students learn to the best of their abilities. Popular teachers are more concerned about their image than about pushing students to do their best. As a result, popular teachers are often too easily distracted from the class content, they make the class too easy, and they focus on the students that respond best.
Popular teachers are invariably very social. They try to show that they are interested and involved in the students’ world by discussing sports, television shows, and other things which are not related to the subject. Although such conversation may be fun for the students, it leaves less time to cover class material. I had a teacher once who was so talkative that he only completed half of the topics on the syllabus. The students like myself who were interested in learning the material had to read the second half of the textbook on our own. Sharing funny anecdotes about his weekend activities, that professor did not effectively teach what needed to be covered.
Another potential problem with popular teachers is the desire to give good grades. If a teacher fails a student, the student invariably is not happy. Therefore, popular teachers often make tests very easy so that students can get high scores. This may satisfy students who don’t care about mastering a subject, but the top students are not challenged or pushed to study and reach a higher level of understanding. Giving everyone good grades does not make the class better; itkeeps the stronger students from testing their limits.
Finally, popular teachers often focus on the students who respond well to their teaching style and keep the class entertaining. They call on those students who answer the questions in a funny way rather than students who address the topic in a thoughtful manner. They may even highlight the accomplishments of a few students during their conversations rather than trying to engage and encourage everyone. As a result, some students feel left out, and may even stop attending class. The unpopular students lose motivation and do not excel because they are ignored in favor of students that cater to the popular teacher.
Popular teachers often do a poor job in helping all students learn because they are more interested in socializing than teaching the class material, they want to give good grades rather than challenge students, and they focus on a few students who like the teacher.
help the students learn to the best of their abilities 幫助學(xué)生盡其所能地學(xué)習(xí)
are often too easily distracted from 經(jīng)常太容易分心
leave less time to do X 為做X留更少的時間
the second half of X X的后半部分
keep the stronger students from testing their limits 阻止較強(qiáng)的學(xué)生去測試他們的極限
left out 被忽視,被遺忘
cater to 迎合
范文2：Argument 2 (against)
Popular teachers can be effective in helping students to learn. In fact, the very reason that some teachers are popular is that they make the information they are presenting interesting, are available to answer questions, and they take an interest in the students’ activities.
The primary role of a teacher is giving information to students. If teachers create appealing programming that relates to the real world, students will pay attention. The teacher is well-likedbecause the students enjoy learning. It is easier for the student to remember the material, too, when it is presented in a fun manner. For example, I will never forget a physics lesson in which we threw eggs into different types of basket. Although some of the alternatives were messy, I still remember how a flexible surface that catches and moves with the egg will absorb the impact of even the strongest throw, so the egg stays intact. I remember the concept because the teacher was good at engaging the students.
Teachers who are not natural showmen can still be popular by being available to answer any question. Teachers who explain in different ways can clarify doubts, making even the toughest lessons understandable. Teachers can be available in different ways, too. Some teachers are willing to interrupt lessons to explain points. They allow students to ask questions at any time so that no one is confused or left behind. Other teachers have an open office policy where students can drop by and ask questions in a one-on-one setting. Whatever method the teacher uses, it can help the students understand the material and perform better.
Finally, popular teachers take an interest in their students. Talking about hobbies or goals may seem detrimental to a solid education, but in reality, it can help the teacher explain concepts in ways that the students can relate to. Once I was having a hard time in a math class. That teacher sat down and asked about my interests, and he got excited to hear I liked quilting. He pulled out some paper and showed how the things we were learning could help with my hobby: I could calculate the yardage for a pattern or proportionately change the design’s size. I realized that his popularity was not just based on his chattiness; he used the students’ hobbies to make math practical and interesting.
Popular teachers gain their popularity by doing the things that help students excel. They come up with creative lessons, are available to answer questions, and take an interest in their students. As a result, popular teachers can be very good at helping students learn.
is well-liked 受歡迎的
the teacher was good at engaging the students 老師擅于吸引學(xué)生
natural showmen 天生的表演家
drop by 順便拜訪
in a one-on-one setting 在一對一的環(huán)境下
take an interest in X 對X感興趣
help students excel 幫助學(xué)生出類拔萃
托福寫作模板：如何提升演講能力
題目：
After your presentation, which way would you choose to identify your weakness and improve your presentation?
1) reviewing the recording on your own;
2) inviting your colleagues or classmates to make suggestions for improvement.
范文1：For Choice 1
To improve my performance after giving a presentation, it is best to review a recording of it by myself. This process lets me observe all aspects of the presentation, evaluate changes at my own pace, and avoid being defensive.
First, a video recording gives significantly more information than just relying on comments made by colleagues or classmates. I can analyze and improve on even small points that others may not have noticed or found worth mentioning. For example, a couple years ago, I gave a presentation that I had extensively prepared for. It had strong organization and flow. Classmates raved about the content, but mentioned that I looked scared. I was confused, because I had felt confident. However, I noticed in the video later that I was continually fingering my notes. For my next presentation, I placed the notes within view but did not hold them, rendering my appearance more professional.
Another reason I prefer watching a recording is my pace of learning. I can focus on the points I want to redo, replaying the material as often as I want, confirming even tiny details. In fact, I can even take long breaks to think about what I see or to try out alternate delivery styles. I do not have to inconvenience my friends by asking them for feedback or taking up their time. If others are involved in the evaluation process, I feel much more rushed because I do not want to bother people who have agreed to help me.
Finally, reviewing a recording by myself eliminates a serious problem that hinders progress: my pride. I do not like to admit it, but I often get defensive about feedback and want to explain why certain things happened. I feel resentful about negative comments rather than see them as stepping stones towards improvement. It is a natural tendency, but it definitely hinders my ability to assimilate outside feedback. Furthermore, friends try to be polite, so they may not mention minorpoints that I might have improved because they don’t want to seem too critical. Emotions get in the way of a thorough critique.
To improve my future performance, I find it best to review videos of my presentations by myself. I can evaluate all aspects of the presentation, take as much time as I need, and avoid the inevitable problem of emotional involvement swaying the critique.
at my own pace 按照自己的步伐走
rave about the content 對內(nèi)容贊不絕口
place the notes within view 把筆記放在眼前,把筆記放在視線范圍內(nèi)
inconvenience my friends 麻煩我的朋友
take up their time 占用他們的時間
see them as stepping stones towards improvement 把它們看作是邁向進(jìn)步的墊腳石
get in the way 妨礙,阻礙
范文2：For Choice 2
It is essential to get the feedback of people in the audience to learn about mistakes and improve on a presentation. Spectator critiques help identify the big picture and reveal points that you can’tsee in an honest, unbiased way.
No matter how impartial you want to be, a self-evaluation is biased. It incorporates points that are not relevant to the performance you gave. For example, you may think you did excellent given your limited practice time or great amount of stress, but your audience is unaware of these factors. The viewers only evaluate what they see, which is a far more accurate measure of a presentation. A self-evaluation may also ignore issues that were “just accidents.” However, such points may reallybe important detractors that need to be addressed.
People in the audience also provide insight into the big picture. They only have time to note specific glaring details or outstanding highlights. Otherwise, their feedback gives you the overallimpression of the performance, which is something intangible and essential to the presentation’ssuccess. If you compare the feedback of several observers, you can isolate the main patterns. As a result, you can understand the most important parts that need changed. If you only refer to a video on your own, you may get caught up changing minor details rather than addressing the key elements that are needed to alter the overall flow or lasting effect.
Finally, classmates or colleagues may identify things you take for granted such as mannerisms, repeated words, or even problems with visual aids. One example is a teacher who gave a presentation using an old slide projector that kept jamming. The teacher apologized when that happened and kept going with the lecture. He had no idea how distracting it was, to the point that students remembered joking about which slide would get stuck next better than they remembered the content. The teacher, however, was so used to fixing the projector that he barely noticed it. The feedback showed him the value of replacing his visual aids with newer equipment, an issue he had never considered was important.
Since an audience gives you honest evaluations of the overall impression of a presentation and identifies points you may not see on your own, it is important to get feedback from people in the audience in order to improve your presentations.
spectator critiques 旁觀者的評論
in an honest, unbiased way 以誠實(shí)、公正的方式
a far more accurate measure of a presentation 對報告或展示一種更為準(zhǔn)確的評價
provide insight into the big picture 洞察全局
glaring details 明顯的細(xì)節(jié)
outstanding highlights 突出的亮點(diǎn)
visual aids 視覺輔助
