雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析
距離雅思寫作7分你大概還有3個(gè)步驟要走，是的，不是誰都可以輕輕松松活動(dòng)雅思高分的。今天小編給大家?guī)砹搜潘?分大作范文批改和解析,希望能夠幫助到大家，一起來學(xué)習(xí)吧。
雅思7分大作范文批改和解析
雅思寫作提高第一步：結(jié)構(gòu)(5.0 - 5.5)
問題：出國留學(xué)的優(yōu)點(diǎn)(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)
同學(xué)：One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners.
解析：出國留學(xué)和高學(xué)歷完全是兩回事(出去讀初中和高中都算出國);出國就是better education，在國內(nèi)就不是better? 出國留學(xué)可不僅僅是上大學(xué)，而該同學(xué)認(rèn)為出國留學(xué)就是去上大學(xué)的(因?yàn)樗赡芫褪侨ド洗髮W(xué)的，所以覺得所有人也都如此)，偏激。此外，第四句論述變成了英語環(huán)境了(因?yàn)榇蠹叶既ビ⒄Z國家，所以主觀認(rèn)為，所有出國的人就是去學(xué)英語的)，再次帶來了內(nèi)容偏激。
大家找問題的時(shí)候是不是去找語法或者詞匯使用上面的錯(cuò)誤了?對(duì)，很多時(shí)候大家認(rèn)為自己寫的沒什么問題(畢竟詞匯和語法沒少使用)，分?jǐn)?shù)低會(huì)歸類到“壓分”。那么在感受一下5.5分的原因真是詞匯或者語法問題嗎?考官看不懂，就是看不懂;唯一看懂的就是結(jié)構(gòu)還算完整，所以5.0 - 5.5分。
雅思寫作提高第二步：邏輯(6.0 - 6.5)
邏輯部分的主要得分點(diǎn)有兩個(gè)：一個(gè)是觀點(diǎn)的準(zhǔn)確性;一個(gè)是論證方法的靈活使用。我們根據(jù)剛才的5.0 - 5.5分的文章，進(jìn)一步感受一下有了邏輯的內(nèi)容有什么區(qū)別。
問題：出國留學(xué)的優(yōu)點(diǎn)(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)
Tim老師改：One reason for those who decide to go overseas for study is that they believe they can have access to different educational resources. That is to say, different countries have different educational system, and they can provide people with their specialized courses and rich resources to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in a foreign environment and being affected by local culture make people learn a language more quickly.
解析：Tim老師通過修改了上面同學(xué)的問題，把內(nèi)容變得更準(zhǔn)確、有說服力。所以，5.5 - 6.0分的一個(gè)最佳提分方式就是學(xué)會(huì)總結(jié)歸納自己要說的內(nèi)容;否則，只是通過詞匯或者語法是很難提高分?jǐn)?shù)的(大家可以感受一下自己當(dāng)下的學(xué)習(xí)方式就知道了)。
雅思寫作第三步：語言(7+)
小站雅思君進(jìn)一步給大家感受一下7.0分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)又和上面的內(nèi)容有什么區(qū)別。
問題：出國留學(xué)的優(yōu)點(diǎn) (the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)
On one hand, people can have access to different educational resources when they pursue their study in another country. It is self-evident that everyone would choose a place that offers a more competitive and better education in certain field as the destination for their overseas studies. This explains the reason why bunches of young people flood into some countries for further their study, such as America or Germany. Under this circumstance, students will receive many materials that are more up-to-date and teachers can provide them with the latest development in their fields that differs from others.
解析：一段只圍繞一個(gè)觀點(diǎn)做展開論述。通過強(qiáng)調(diào)論證、解釋論證、遞進(jìn)句等不同論證方法來解釋觀點(diǎn)：出國留學(xué)可以讓人們獲取不同的教育資源。并且語言使用準(zhǔn)確且多樣，層層遞進(jìn)。所以，從段落的邏輯性、緊密型以及語言使用的多樣性還有準(zhǔn)確性上面都符合7分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
雅思寫作Task2教育類考官范文
Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors.
I strongly believe that the pros far outweigh the cons, and will examine both below.
Model Answer:
One of the greatest advantages is that the children learn to be independent. Having to cook, clean, and pay bills instills this in them. Often they have to work part-time to make ends meet, and this impresses upon them the importance of work and money management.
Another important factor is that these children will be exposed to different cultures and ways of thinking. They will become more open-minded and tolerant and are likely to become more adaptable individuals.
One of the main motives for sending young people abroad to study is that it enhances their employment prospects. In my experience of living in foreign countries and speaking to various youths, it seems that a foreign education is regarded as something desirable and helpful in getting a decent job. A degree from Britain, for example, is seen as being of a higher standard than one from a developing country. Furthermore, living in a foreign country may lead to fluency in a second language, which is another selling point for prospective employers. In addition, many companies are keen to recruit people with a global outlook.
There are a few drawbacks however. For instance, without parental supervision, the new found freedom children experience may lead to harmful practices such as drug-taking and drinking. Reluctance or inability to reintegrate into their mother country is another. To sum up, it can be seen that the advantages of studying abroad for children are more numerous than the disadvantages. Of course a lot depends on the age of the child, but I believe that for most teenagers it would be a positive experience.
雅思寫作Task2教育類考官范文
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Model Answer:
It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. This trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.
The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or traveling to other places have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research, as well as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.
However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age. Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job, or to do something completely different from a university course. But overall, I think this is less likely today, when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career.
My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.
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