雅思寫作內(nèi)容及評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)之：連貫性及一致性
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雅思寫作內(nèi)容及評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)之：連貫性及一致性
貫性包括意連和形連兩個(gè)方面，前者指的是內(nèi)涵的邏輯性，后者指的是運(yùn)用變換詞語。當(dāng)然這兩者常常是不可分割的。只有形連而沒有意連，語句之間就沒有內(nèi)涵的有機(jī)的聯(lián)絡(luò);反之，只有意連而沒有形連，有時(shí)行文就不流暢。
階段中語句的擺放應(yīng)遵循必定的順序，不能想到什么就寫什么。假如在著筆之前沒有構(gòu)思，邊寫邊想，寫寫停停，那就寫不出一氣呵成的好文章來。
下面介紹幾種雅思寫作內(nèi)容常見的方式。
A.按時(shí)刻先后(chronological arrangement)
We had a number of close calls that day. When we rose, it was obviously late and we had to hurry so as not to miss breakfast; we knew the dining room staff was strict about closing at nine o'clock. Then, when we had been driving in the desert for nearly two hours ----- it must have been close to noon ---- the heat nearly hid us in; the radiator boiled over and we had to use most of our drinking water to cool it down. By the time we reached the mountain, it was four o'clock and we were exhausted. Here, judgement ran out of us and we started the tough climb to the summit, not realizing that darkness came suddenly in the desert. Sure enough, by six we were struggling and Andrew very nearly went down a steep cliff, dragging Mohammed and me along with him. By nine, when the wind howled across the flat ledge of the summit, we knew as we shivered together for warmth that it had not been our lucky day.
本段從"rose"(起床)寫起，然后是吃早餐("not to miss breakfast", "closing at nine o'clock")，然后是"close to noon"，一直寫到這一天完畢("By nine--")。
B.按方位遠(yuǎn)近(spatial arrangement)
From a distance, it looked like a skinny tube, but as we got closer, we could see it flesh out before our eyes. It was tubular, all right, but fatter than we could see from far away. Furthermore, we were also astonished to notice that the building was really in two parts: a pagoda sitting on top of a tubular one-story structure. Standing ten feet away, we could marvel at how much of the pagoda was made up of glass windows. Almost everything under the wonderful Chinese roof was made of glass, unlike the tube that it was sitting on, which only had four. Inside, the tube was gloomy, because of the lack of light. Then a steep, narrow staircase took us up inside the pagoda and the light changed dramatically. All those windows let in a flood of sunshine and we could see out for miles across the flat land.
本段的寫法是由遠(yuǎn)及近，從遠(yuǎn)處("from a distance")寫起，然后"get closer"，再到(" ten feet away")，最后是"inside the pagoda"……當(dāng)然，按方位遠(yuǎn)近來寫不等于都是由遠(yuǎn)及近。根據(jù)需要，也能夠由近及遠(yuǎn)，由外至內(nèi)等等。
C.按邏輯關(guān)系(logical arrangement)
If you work as a soda jerker, you will, of course, not need much skill in expressing yourself to be effective. If you work on a machine, your ability to express yourself will be of little importance. But as soon as you move one step up from the bottom, your effectiveness depends on your ability to reach others through the spoken or the written word. And the further away your job is from manual work, the larger the organization of which you are an employee, the more important it will be that you know how to convey your thoughts in writing or speaking. In the very large business organization, whether it is the government, the large corporation, or the Army, this ability to express oneself is perhaps the most important of all the skills a man can possess.
這一段談的是表達(dá)能力，它的重要性與工作，身份有關(guān)，從"not need much skill"或"of little importance"到"more important"，最后是"most important"。
行文的邏輯性常常要靠恰當(dāng)?shù)淖儞Q詞語及其他手法來完成。
Walter's goal in life was to become a successful surgeon. First, though, he had to get through high school, so he concentrated all his efforts on his studies --- in particular, biology, chemistry, and math. Because he worked constantly on these subjects, Walter became proficient in them; however, Walter forgot that he needed to master other subjects besides those he had chosen. As a result, during his junior year of high school, Walter failed both English and Latin. Consequently, he had to repeat these subjects and he was almost unable to graduate on schedule. Finally, on June 6, Walter achieved the first step toward realizing his goal.
本文中起承上啟下的詞語有兩種，一種是變換詞語(transitional words or phrases)，另一種是起變換效果的其他銜接手法(linking devices)。前者依次有：first, though, so, in particular, and, because, however, besides, as a result, both…and, consequently, and, finally.后者依次是：he, he, his, his, he, these, them, he, those, his, he, these, his.本段有詞匯105個(gè)，所運(yùn)用的變換詞語及其他銜接用語共26個(gè)詞，約占該段總詞匯量的四分之一。由此可見，掌握好transitions不僅對行文的流暢有利，并且關(guān)于學(xué)生在規(guī)則時(shí)刻內(nèi)寫足所要求的字?jǐn)?shù)也是不無優(yōu)點(diǎn)的。
雅思寫作內(nèi)容中經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)的幾種錯(cuò)誤：
1)不必要的改動(dòng)時(shí)態(tài)，比方：
In the movie, Robert Redford was a spy. He goes to his office where he found everybody dead. Other spies wanted to kill him, so he takes refuge with Julie Christie. At her house, he had waited for the heat to die down, but they come after him anyway.
2)不必要的改動(dòng)單復(fù)數(shù)，比方：
Everybody looks for satisfaction in his life. They want to be happy. But if he seeks only pleasure in the short run, the person will soon run out of pleasure and life will catch up to him. They need to pursue the deeper pleasure of satisfaction in work and in relationships.
3)不必要的改動(dòng)人稱，比方：
Now more than ever, parents need to be in touch with their children's activities because modern life has the tendency to cause cleavages in the family. You need to arrange family like it so that family members will do things together and know one another. You need to give up isolated pleasures of your own and realize that parents have a set of obligations to sponsor togetherness and therefore sponsor knowledge.
因而寫作中，必定要注意時(shí)態(tài)，人稱以及數(shù)的改變是否正確，要注意保持一致。
【雅思寫作高分范文】關(guān)于學(xué)習(xí)時(shí)間過長的利與弊
雅思寫作題目：The most important thing of people's life is his or her work. Without a satisfying career, the life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
雅思寫作題目講解：
此題目為教育類話題，體裁為議論文下屬的利弊分析類，要分別陳述將大部分時(shí)間花在學(xué)習(xí)上對社會(huì)和孩子自身的影響
雅思寫作范文：
With the increasing proportion of employed workers, whether or not one’s career is his or her whole has become a widely debated topic. While some believe that job is the most crucial element of our life, others maintain that there are many other essential things which are meaningful to us. Given that life is colourful and non-inevitable relationship between success of career and the meaning of life, I strongly disagree that there will be nothing left if we failed to reach the peak of career.
隨著就業(yè)人數(shù)的增加，一個(gè)人的職業(yè)生涯是否是他或她的全部生活已經(jīng)成為一個(gè)廣泛爭論的話題。有些人認(rèn)為工作是我們生活中最重要的因素，而另一些人則認(rèn)為還有許多其他對我們有意義事情。鑒于生活是豐富多彩的，事業(yè)的成功與生活的意義之間是不可避免的關(guān)系，我不同意如果我們不能達(dá)到事業(yè)的頂峰，就不會(huì)留下任何東西。
For a start, that many other aspects in life can actually bring fond memories to us. Having good relationship with family members and friends is a flawless illustration. It is not uncommon that many elderly couples live in small and cozy flats, who didn’t really succeed in terms of their careers. However, just because of their pure and long-lasted relationship over the last few decades, they are satisfied and often feel that they are very lucky to meet each other. Similarly, raising a child can also boost parents’ sense of satisfaction and they are more likely to have a meaningful life. It is evident that there are still many factors to determine one’s meaning of life other than career.
首先，生活中的許多其他方面實(shí)際上能給我們帶來美好的回憶。與家人和朋友保持良好關(guān)系是一個(gè)完美的例證。許多老年夫婦生活在小而舒適的公寓里，這并不少見，他們的職業(yè)生涯并沒有真正成功。然而，僅僅因?yàn)樗麄冊谶^去幾十年里純潔而持久的關(guān)系，他們感到滿意，并且經(jīng)常感到他們非常幸運(yùn)地遇見彼此。同樣，撫養(yǎng)孩子也能提高父母的滿足感，他們更有可能有一個(gè)有意義的生活。顯然，除了事業(yè)之外，還有很多因素來決定一個(gè)人的人生意義。
Secondly and more importantly, it is illogical to link the extent of success to the worth of life. Imagine a thirty-year old chief executive officer, who whole-heartedly spent everything on his business. He strove a lot and unconcerned with his health at present just because he longed for his delightful life after retirement. However, since his intensive workload and unhealthy lifestyle, he was diagnosed with cancer before entirement. How meaning will you rate of this man’s life? In this case, I would contend that his life should have been more splendid if he spent more time on different aspects, even though he might not succeed in his career. No wonder Bible has that, “What does it profit a man, if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life?”
其次，更重要的是，把成功的程度與生命的價(jià)值聯(lián)系起來是不合邏輯的。想象一下一個(gè)三十歲的首席執(zhí)行官，他全心全意地把所有的事情都花在自己的事業(yè)上。他現(xiàn)在非常關(guān)心自己的健康，因?yàn)樗释诵莺蟮目鞓飞睢Ｈ欢?，由于他繁重的工作量和不健康的生活方式，他被確診為癌癥之前。你對這個(gè)人的生活有何意義?在這種情況下，我認(rèn)為，如果他多花點(diǎn)時(shí)間在各個(gè)方面，即使他的事業(yè)可能不會(huì)成功，他的生活也會(huì)更加精彩。難怪《圣經(jīng)》中有這樣一句話：“人若賺得全世界，賠上自己的生命，有什么益處呢?
Having discussed that job is only a part of life and it does not necessarily make one’s life be more meaningful, I firmly disagree that job is everything of life. If all people were more open-minded about their jobs and paid more attention on other stuff in their life, I am confident that they would have more enjoyable experiences which are likely to make their life more interesting and meaningful.
在討論過工作只是生活的一部分，并不一定使人的生活更有意義的時(shí)候，我堅(jiān)決不同意工作是生活的全部。如果所有人都對工作更加開放，對生活中的其他事情更加關(guān)注，我相信他們會(huì)有更多的愉快的經(jīng)歷，這些經(jīng)歷可能會(huì)使他們的生活更有趣和有意義。
【雅思寫作高分范文】討論孩子課外活動(dòng)的影響
雅思寫作題目：Some people think watching TV every day is bad for children. Others think it is good for developing children as they grow up. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
雅思寫作題目講解：
第一段：看電視是孩子們很重要的課余活動(dòng)，有些孩子甚至對電視成癮。
第二段：看電視太多的消極面，對身體健康不利。減少和同齡人以及家人的互動(dòng)與交流。對智力發(fā)展不利，有些電視內(nèi)容不適合小孩子等素材。
第三段：適量有選擇的看電視有益兒童發(fā)展，增加知識(shí)，和探索世界的興趣。豐富課余生活，和父母或同齡人一起看有助于更好的親子或朋友互動(dòng)等素材。
第四段：適量地選擇適合孩子的電視節(jié)目，并且盡量和父母或同齡人一同看電視有助于孩子的健康發(fā)展，否則電視將對孩子產(chǎn)生消極影響。
雅思寫作范文：
Watching TV has always been an important part of after school life for children, and some of them even become TV addicts. Therefore some people advocate ‘no TV for children’.
看電視一直是孩子們課余生活的重要組成部分，他們中的一些甚至成了電視迷。因此，有些人主張“不為孩子們看電視”。
Of course this is understandable. Firstly, children sitting too much time in front of a screen tend to have poor eyesight and weak body due to lack of physical exercise. They can also be lost in the virtual world and be insensitive to people around them, including their parents, and this is detrimental to their family relationship and their emotional development. Another concern is about their mental development which needs various types of interactive activities, but obviously excessive TV viewing cannot meet such requirement. The worst part can be some programs which are not proper for children to watch. Too many advertisements and news focusing on emergency and disasters on the screen are also a disadvantageous point for immature people who are prone to be influenced negatively.
當(dāng)然，這是可以理解的。首先，由于缺乏體育鍛煉，坐在屏幕前的孩子往往視力差，身體虛弱。他們也可能迷失在虛擬世界中，對周圍的人，包括他們的父母不敏感，這不利于他們的家庭關(guān)系和情感發(fā)展。另一個(gè)問題是他們的心理發(fā)展，這需要各種類型的互動(dòng)活動(dòng)，但顯然過多的電視觀看不能滿足這樣的要求。最糟糕的部分可能是一些不適合兒童觀看的節(jié)目。對于那些容易受到消極影響的不成熟人來說，屏幕上過多的關(guān)注緊急情況和災(zāi)難的廣告和新聞也是不利的。
However watching TV in moderation with proper parental supervision can be good for children. There are plenty of educational programs which can expand children’s knowledge and spark their interest in exploring the world where they may not have the opportunity to visit in real life, such as the nature and wild life. TV is not only an educational source, but is also a recreational activity. It can help enrich their after class activities. For example, children are always excited to watch cartoons and they would experience the adventure together with the characters in the show. The positive effects would be enlarged if children are able to share their TV time with their parents or peers, because they would have topics in common and more communication can be followed.
然而，適當(dāng)?shù)募议L監(jiān)督，適度地看電視對孩子是有益的。有很多教育項(xiàng)目，可以擴(kuò)大兒童的知識(shí)，激發(fā)他們的興趣探索世界，他們可能沒有機(jī)會(huì)在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中訪問，如自然和野生生命。電視不僅是一種教育資源，也是一種娛樂活動(dòng)。它可以幫助豐富他們的課外活動(dòng)。例如，孩子們總是很興奮地看卡通片，他們會(huì)和劇中的角色一起經(jīng)歷冒險(xiǎn)。如果孩子們能夠與父母或同齡人分享他們的電視時(shí)間，積極的影響將會(huì)擴(kuò)大，因?yàn)樗麄儠?huì)有共同的話題和更多的交流可以遵循。
In general, I’d like to conclude that whether TV is good or bad is determined by how parents manage it. If parents limit TV hours and designate some educational and interesting programs and they keep their children accompanied, healthy viewing habit would be established and positive effects would be maximized. Otherwise, watching TV can be a worrying situation.
總的來說，我想斷定電視是好是壞是由父母如何管理的。如果父母限制看電視的時(shí)間，指定一些教育性和趣味性的節(jié)目，并陪同他們的孩子，就會(huì)養(yǎng)成健康的觀看習(xí)慣，并最大限度地發(fā)揮積極作用。否則，看電視可能是令人擔(dān)憂的情況。
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