托福獨立寫作讓步式寫法運用實例分析
托福獨立寫作中使用經(jīng)典五段寫法的考生很多,但這種寫法有一個問題,那就是如果中間三個段落的分論點之間邏輯關(guān)系不夠鮮明,或是考生想不出三個分論點,那么這種寫法就會難以實現(xiàn)。下面小編就和大家分享托福獨立寫作讓步式寫法運用實例分析,來欣賞一下吧。
托福獨立寫作讓步式寫法運用實例分析
托福獨立寫作思路分析
在寫一邊倒的文章的時候,多數(shù)考生喜歡采用經(jīng)典的五段式寫法,即開頭段、結(jié)尾段、中間三段三個分論點論證。這樣的寫法當(dāng)然無可厚非,然而多數(shù)學(xué)生會碰到兩個問題,一是我只能想到兩個理由,第三個理由寫不出來怎么辦?二是我三個理由都寫完了,但是字?jǐn)?shù)不夠300字怎么辦?這樣的情況,就需要我們的救命稻草"讓步段"出場了。
什么是讓步段寫法?
讓步段,顧名思義,就是退了一步的段落。例如,F(xiàn)or further career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school? 選擇了同意的立場,寫完了三個同意的理由之后,可以再寫一點讓步段論述一下反方的觀點,即在學(xué)校學(xué)習(xí)好也很重要。寫讓步段的好處有很多,一是上文提及的最實際的用途---湊字?jǐn)?shù),二是從行文邏輯看,寫一段讓步段也可以展現(xiàn)考生思維的嚴(yán)密性。只要時間允許,此種一舉多得的做法為何不嘗試呢?
托福獨立寫作讓步段寫法講解
但是,讓步段寫作也需要遵循一定的原則??忌趯懽鲿r,應(yīng)當(dāng)按照三部曲進行:1)寫出一個反方觀點 2)進行一定程度的削弱 3)重申自己的觀點。
1. 寫出反方觀點
這一步大多數(shù)同學(xué)都做得不錯,但是在提出反方觀點之前,可再加上一些連接詞,例如admittedly, nevertheless等等。還拿之前拿到題目做例子,F(xiàn)or further career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school? 總觀點是同意,讓步段寫學(xué)習(xí)好也挺重要的。第一步引出反方觀點時,應(yīng)寫:Admittedly, acquiring an excellent GPA is one significant proof of your ability, for "study" is one of the major tasks that students are supposed to fulfill in school.
2. 進行一定程度的削弱
這是大多數(shù)同學(xué)會忽略的一步。很多同學(xué)在寫讓步段的時候,喜歡跳過第二步,直接重申自己的觀點,然而這樣的寫法會顯得邏輯上牽強,行文也顯得生硬。因此,在提出反方觀點時要進行一定的削弱。例如在寫完上文那句話之后,應(yīng)加上:However, the outstanding scores only prove the intelligence of the student, while the EQ, largely reflected by how well you relate with others, plays an utmost significant role in the future career success.
3. 重申自己的觀點
這一步非常重要,因為讓步段的提出僅僅是小插曲,重要的還是自己的觀點。切不可寫了讓步段,就忘了自己的立場,那樣就是得不償失了。因此,在寫完上面兩句話之后,需要再加上一句,therefore, I still hold the opinion that relate well with others is more important than acquiring high scores in school.
在讓步段的寫作當(dāng)中,尤其需要注意兩點:1是第二步的削弱過程,這樣可使文章看起來不那么唐突,更為流暢。2是另外還需注意字?jǐn)?shù)的控制,讓步段切不可寫得超過之前的論述段的長度,否則就有觀點不明確的嫌疑了
托福寫作:找論據(jù)的具體技巧
托福寫作論據(jù)通常來自兩個角度:個人和社會。
個人角度通常會涉及到個人的身體和心理的健康,個人的動機,夢想,興趣愛好,職業(yè)和學(xué)業(yè),家庭背景,個人生活方式以及個人的能力。
社會角度一般包括政府稅收,教育,民族文化,經(jīng)濟,能源環(huán)境以及社會秩序。
1. Government should be responsible for the tuition fee of university students. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
題目的意思是政府該不該支付大學(xué)生的學(xué)費,針對這個題目,無論是同意還是不同意,我們都按個人和社會兩個角度來看一下。
同意
個人:For those students who are with great intelligence but from poor families, government surely should be responsible for their tuition fee and provide them opportunities to go to school and then release pressure for their families. 因為此題討論的是大學(xué)生的學(xué)費,正如前面所提到的,個人的構(gòu)思角度包括"個人家庭經(jīng)濟背景"。
社會:As we all know, economy is a master key to a country's development and it is undeniable that students who finish their education are the main force pushing forward social and economic development, for which government should encourage education for the benefits of the whole society. 既然從社會角度出發(fā),就要試著往這方面靠攏,首先想想學(xué)生接受教育對社會的益處是什么?上文提到,社會角度包括"經(jīng)濟",所以政府支持教育必然對推進社會經(jīng)濟發(fā)展有好處。
不同意
個人:Paying tuition fee for university students can make them access to education easier, therefore, some students may lose motivation without financial pressure and will not cherish the studying opportunities. As a consequence, it is hard to guarantee the quality of university education. 個人的角度包括"學(xué)習(xí)動機",政府給大學(xué)生支付學(xué)費可能會讓他們喪失學(xué)習(xí)動機,從而影響教學(xué)質(zhì)量。
社會:Due to the limited financial budget, government is likely to suffer a great pressure if spending too much money on education; as a result, our government will not have extra energy to develop in other fields, such as science and technology, as well as the medical advances, which are also with great significance to society.
我們之前也提到,社會的構(gòu)思角度除了"教育"之外還有其他方面,例如"經(jīng)濟"或者"文化"或者"環(huán)境保護"。所以一旦政府在教育上花費過多,其他領(lǐng)域的發(fā)展就會受到限制。
2. Machines can do a lot of work for human being, it can bring many benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
同意
個人:More work can be done in a relatively shorter time, which can greatly increase the working efficiency and improve quality of life by reducing the working tense; the benefits of this trend also can ensure safety of employees as some work with great danger can rely on machines
個人角度包括個人的身體健康(人身安全)和生活方式。所以這里的論據(jù) "減輕勞動強度"和 "增強安全程度"正是來源于此。而且Reduce the working tense之后就意味著生活將會更輕松即"改善生活方式"。
社會:The economic development speeds up due to the improvement of productivity by using machines, which never feel tired and are not dependent external factors, such as emotion and weather.
社會包括"經(jīng)濟",所以機器代替人類能夠提高社會生產(chǎn)力,從而促進"社會經(jīng)濟"發(fā)展。
不同意
個人:Relying on machines too much may lead to lack of exercise and then cause human's healthy problems. 個人角度包含"個人的健康"問題。因此我們可以想到如果過多的依賴機器,人們就會缺乏運動從而導(dǎo)致健康水平下降。
社會:Some handicraft skills cannot be passed on and the traditional culture may die out since the skilled workers have been replaced by machines. Moreover, it is usually more resource consuming and causes environmental problems by using machines in the mass production.因為社會包括"傳統(tǒng)文化",進一步我們可以想到機器工作多了必然導(dǎo)致人們的手工技能或者稱之為傳統(tǒng)文化將會在社會中消亡。同時,社會包括"環(huán)境問題"。機器雖然可以提高效率,但是會消耗能源或者排放一些污染環(huán)境的物質(zhì),因為會涉及到環(huán)保問題,同樣屬于社會的構(gòu)思角度。
托福寫作:恒溫動物
Sample Response
The professor actually contradicts the statements made in the passage. She is of the view that dinosaurs are not endotherms i.e. they were not able to keep their body temperature at a constant rate.
The professor contradicts the issue of dinosaurs being endothers based on the availability of fossils being available in thwe polar regions, she say that the polar regions in those days were not as cold as they are today i.e at least warm enough for dinosaurs to live. Durin harsh winters she says that there is a possibility of the dinosaurs actually migrating to warmer regions.
The issue of leg position and movement being used as a reason to clasify the dinosaurs as endotherms does not please the professor either. She says that dinosaurs had legs under their bodies to support their huge bodies i.e the legs under the body of the dinosaur were actually to support the huge weight of the dinosaur and not to provide it with a body structure like endotherms(which is actually suited for running).
The professor acknowledges the presence of haversian canals but also points out that that the fossils show the presence of growth rings. These rings occur due to the thickening of the bone. The thickening indicates that the dinosaurs were’nt actually growing continuously but were experiencing periods of rapid growth and periods of no growth in succesion. This pattern. she says is characteristic of non endothermic aanimals.
Thus it can be inferred that the professor challenges the passage by giving reasons as to why she thinks that the dinosaur is not an endotherm.
Description of Response:
Despite initial appearances, this response largely succeeds in clearly and accurately presenting how the lecture points take issue with the points in the reading passage that dinosaurs were endotherms. The first point regarding dinosaurs in polar regions could be a bit clearer. Otherwise, the response mainly suffers from typographical errors, but these are not regarded as major problems; it is obvious that the writer has good control of structure and vocabulary and the ability to use these to convey in an organized and logical manner what has been understood and asked.
托福獨立寫作讓步式寫法運用實例分析




